My husband and I have been married for 26 years when he left me for an additional lady. Neither considered one of us can afford a lawyer. He advised everyone he and his lady are engaged!
We’re nonetheless legally married. Can the lady he’s with gather widow’s advantages if we’re nonetheless married? Can he gather my Social Safety if I cross away? We’ve been residing individually since 2019. We now have not communicated since. I simply have to know what I’m in for.
— J.
Expensive J.,
Many issues make me jittery when {couples} stay on this form of limbo. However one factor you don’t want to fret about is the influence of your husband’s actions in your Social Safety advantages. He can keep married to you, divorce you and remarry his love curiosity, go on to marry and divorce a dozen instances over, and so forth. You’d nonetheless have the ability to declare his survivor advantages if he dies earlier than you.
Let me clarify how Social Safety works for spouses and ex-spouses. If you happen to qualify for a couple of sort of profit, Social Safety offers you the most important profit that’s obtainable to you, however you may’t gather a number of advantages. You may get your individual retirement profit. Or should you’re at the moment married or divorced, you might qualify for a spousal profit in case your present or former partner continues to be residing, although it’s capped at 50% of their full retirement age profit. Or in case your partner or ex-spouse has died, you might qualify for a survivor profit, which may be as excessive as 100% of their Social Safety profit.

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Simply to be clear, although: From Social Safety’s perspective, you and your ex are nonetheless married. Social Safety will nonetheless contemplate you married, even should you and your partner have legally separated. So long as your estranged husband is married to you, he can’t be married to another person. Until your husband truly marries this lady, she will be able to’t gather any advantages on his report.
However these distinctions actually don’t matter in your functions. To gather spousal or survivor advantages primarily based on an ex-spouse’s work report, you want to have been married for a minimum of 10 years. You’ve finished your time. Your estranged husband may divorce you tomorrow, and it nonetheless wouldn’t have an effect on your eligibility for spousal or survivor advantages, assuming you meet the opposite necessities. The massive one is you could’t remarry should you obtain spousal advantages. For survivor advantages, you’d have to attend till age 60 (or 50 should you’re disabled).
When a wedding ends acrimoniously, some folks will even attempt to forestall their ex from claiming Social Safety primarily based on their work report of their divorce decree. However as Social Safety states on its website: “If you happen to have been married a minimum of 10 years, these clauses in divorce decrees are nugatory and are by no means enforced.”
So the place does all this go away your ex and his girlfriend/fiancee? Properly, if he remarries earlier than age 60 (or 50 if he’s disabled), he wouldn’t be eligible in your survivor advantages if he outlives you. Nor would he qualify for spousal advantages if he remarries. (Keep in mind, although, that you just solely get a spousal or survivor profit if it’s greater than your individual retirement profit.) Claiming another person’s profit doesn’t scale back their Social Safety checks, so that you shouldn’t fear about whose profit he claims.
Ought to your ex remarry and die earlier than each you and his new partner, you each may gather survivor advantages. Her profit would haven’t any influence in your profit, nor would your profit have an effect on hers.
I hope I’ve alleviated your worries concerning the Social Safety scenario. Sadly, there are a whole lot of thornier features to staying on this estranged-but-tethered-together association. Relying in your state’s regulation, for instance, you might be chargeable for money owed your partner incurred whilst you’re nonetheless married. If you happen to’re not legally separated, you most likely should file taxes as married submitting individually. That always leads to a much bigger tax invoice. So long as you stay married, you sometimes should hold your partner because the beneficiary of office retirement accounts, like 401(okay)s, except you may have their written consent.
Usually, that is the purpose in my column the place I throw in my “Speak to an legal professional” disclaimer. However as you remind me (duh), attorneys aren’t low-cost. Typically when folks write to a non-attorney recommendation columnist, it’s as a result of they don’t have the cash to pay somebody who’s certified to get authorized recommendation.
You continue to might have choices for divorce, although. You might search for an legal professional who gives a free session to a minimum of get a way of your choices. Possibly you might contact your husband about the opportunity of an uncontested divorce or settling issues via mediation, each of which may prevent substantial cash. In both scenario, you’d have to be cordial to one another and work towards your (hopefully) shared purpose of ending this marriage.
Ending a wedding after 26 years can’t be straightforward, particularly when betrayal is concerned. However I hope that nonetheless you proceed, issues shall be rather less difficult understanding your Social Safety isn’t in danger.
Robin Hartill is an authorized monetary planner and a senior author at The Nourishmoney. Ship your difficult cash inquiries to [email protected].